High Anxiety*

Anxiety dreams do, simply put, (in my opinion) suck.

When the dreams are symbolic, they can get confusing. I once dreamt this convoluted scenario where a former teacher took my entire cohort on a field trip – all of us dressed in costumes that were distinctly J.K. Rowling in style. Odd, granted, but at least in was interesting and colorful…Until we started going though dark steel corridors, with black stone floors that sloped steeply…And some strange guy in a poorly made turban kept trying to chat me up, with an invasion of body space…He was being encouraged by some guy in a vampire get-up…Who I eventually discovered was an Ex in disguise… So it started as a school dream, and ended up as a something-or-another about a long-dead relationship??

COnfUsING.

Then there are the anxiety dreams that are straightforward…Direct. Blunt. Like a club to the head. That is the kind I’ve been having all week.

I see myself back in the professional program I recently completed, but the instructor will not look at me…

I find myself in a merry, crowded restaurant, and see a former lecturer – who scowls and turns away…

I go to the mall and see a group of former classmates veer away from me like a flock of starlings on the wing…

All of which make perfect sense, once you know that I’m due to take a 6-hour, professional certification exam next week.

My point? People worry about the meaning of dreams. We ponder the symbolism. We look for portents. We assess patterns; wonder at what and where; debate color significance, and whether individuals represent themselves, or are used to represent something else. But perhaps people worry about the meaning of dreams, when the task should be simply to make the dreams useful?

Do I understand why my cohort was in costume in the first dream? No. Do I ‘get’ why my classmates moved in a pattern associated with birds and schools of fish? Not really. Could I spend a lot of time brooding over the unfairness of a week full of unpleasant dreams? Easily. Could any of that be useful? Possibly…?

BUT rather than spend all that time and analytical energy in an already busy week, might it be better to say, “These are all anxiety related. Let’s treat the anxiety,” and to practice some calming self care? Might it be better to focus on prepping for a stressful exam, than to brood over why my brain is choosing one dream venue over another?

My film analysis teacher once warned us of his craft, “You can learn a lot from dissecting a goldfish, but you can’t put it back together and have it swim.” (I think he attributed the metaphor to Alfred Hitchcock.) If you dissect every film you watch, you may stop experiencing them as the creator intended. If you dissect every dream, it could have an impact too…

*Okay, that is a movie title, not a book title, but it has been a weird week, and the title is suitable. It’s a 1977 Mel Brooks film. Not to be confused with High Fidelity, which was a 2000 film starring John Cusack – ‘though both are worth watching.